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MAYBE YOU LOST OUT ON THE GOOD-GENES SWEEPSTAKES. You've got a schnozz with its own seat in Congress. Or you've got a lace and bod like Brad but a fashion sense that is truly the Pitts. Maybe you wish you could look half as good as Danny DeVito. Whatever. You can still move from not to hot without having the Queer Eye guys ripping you to pieces like hyenas on Animal Planet.

Start with these tips, our definitive list of everything you need to do to improve your looks: from what to wear and how to work out to what to eat and health dos and don'ts. In three months, when the paparazzi are hounding you 'cause you look like a star, just turn toward the camera and wink. We'll take that as a "Thank yon."

CLOTHING

SUIT YOURSELF: When shopping for suits, worry more about fit than price: A $400 suit that fits perfectly flatters you better than a $4,000 ensemble that doesn't.

GET SHORTY: If you're under 5'10", stick with suits and jackets that have a "short" cut. They're better proportioned and won't make you look like David Byrne in Stop Making Sense.

PLAY YOUR HEAVY HITTERS. Better to own a few swanky clothing items you love than a closet full of cheap, ridiculous items you won't even wear.

MAKE AN UNDER STATEMENT: Wear a white undershirt in the office (under your outer shirt, Einstein). It soaks up sweat, plus that little bit of white poking out helps you look more put-together.

GET LOOPY: Wear a belt. Always. It's the follow-through in your backhand, the whipped cream on your Frappuccino. Plus, it gives the gals something to do (or undo) while you're kicking off your shoes.

TEE OFF YOUR WARDROBE: Everyone's real impressed by your muscles. But outside the gym, an armless muscle tee says "Clueless" before it says "Call me."

STRIPE A POSE: It's still true: Vertical stripes make you look slimmer, Fact: Rockers Jack and Meg White are actually 240 and 370 pounds, respectively.

COLOR SCHEME: Never pair a brown belt with black shoes (and vice versa). You're not a Doberman pinscher.

HANG UP YOUR TIGHTS: When your tighty-whities are no longer white, burn them. (That goes for your pit-stained tees, too, Casanova.)

PLEAT GUILTY: Take your pleated pants and donate them to the Salvation Army. Same goes for ones that taper at the bottom. They make you book top-heavy, fat, and, well, like you're trapped in 1985.

# posted by Medical Information : 10:46 PM